Sometimes I get so infatuated with the idea of starting something, changing something, trying something new, that I just want to dive in and make it all happen at once. Instant gratification is a favorite of mine so whenever I can make something I want happen right away, I’m on cloud nine. It’s often an exhilarating feeling that midway through brings on a bout of sheer panic, and then at the end is the huge flood of relief when the outcome is exactly what I wanted.
But other times, I have to take things slow. I have no choice but to take things slow. And I often feel frustration and impatience with not being able to move on something right away. Waiting does not come easy.
Last night my one year old son walked across the kitchen. He stood on his feet like he knew exactly what he was doing, and he took these sweet little baby steps that took him from the kitchen table all the way across the room to the refrigerator. He laughed the entire time, so proud and so excited at this awesome thing he was doing. I clapped my hands and told him good job, while my husband whipped out the trusty iPhone to capture some of those baby steps on video. An official documentation of the night our little bug reached yet another milestone on his way to big boyhood.
Upon reflection, it was so exciting to see him take those steps. It was terrifying to see him take those steps. I was so proud to see him take those steps.
And I think about the months he has spent practicing…..learning to pull himself up, to balance on his own, to move his legs and understand how they can transport him from place to place. It didn’t happen overnight, in fact it didn’t happen nearly as quickly as my husband and I assumed it would. But those baby steps were worth the wait. And my son’s sheer excitement and elation over realizing that he was doing this thing that he had been working toward all those months…..that was beyond words.
I guess what I’m getting at is that those baby steps reminded me that sometimes it’s okay to wait for something. Sometimes it’s necessary, and the wait makes the moment even sweeter. I also think that it’s okay if something doesn’t come together all at once. This blog, our house, work, parenting, there are so many facets of my life where I want things to be caught up and perfect and just the way I want them to be…..and I want it all to happen right at once, in one fell swoop. But of course that isn’t reality and it’s not the way life goes. Ever.
So the best thing to do? Accomplish what I can when I can. Keep striving to make my life the way I want it to be. Don’t get frustrated when the instant gratification is lacking, and try to make a plan for how to reach that gratification state.
And celebrate those baby steps. Above all else, they’re sometimes the most meaningful.